


dear heart (missing limb)

by SteveTrevorsStarship



Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [9]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Airplane Crashes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attack (sorta?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveTrevorsStarship/pseuds/SteveTrevorsStarship
Summary: Al hasn’t sounded this somber since he had to tell Ed "It was too late the infection spread in your leg, I’m so sorry, brother," and that had ended in him missing a fucking limb.This might be the same thing, just a different kind of limb.“Okay,” Al says calmly, “there was a flight from Richmond to Denver that crashed on take-off a few hours ago.”
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813930
Comments: 9
Kudos: 103
Collections: RoyEd OTPoly 2020





	dear heart (missing limb)

**Author's Note:**

> See the end notes for warnings!
> 
> for da bonus prompt: modern au plane crash. House because I'm a lazy bum and I do actually need to sleep at some point. 
> 
> take this fic, I don't want it anymore

Winry’s voice crackles over the phone and for the first time in days, Ed smiles. 

“Hey Win!” He greets, turning off the stove. His lunch’s simmering slows down as he grabs a plate from the cupboard. 

“Hey Ed,” Win says back. She sounds subdued, maybe even a little shaky. “Have you heard from Roy yet?”

Roy has been on a work trip for a few days, now. Ed had thought it odd that he’d up and left so quickly but eventually chalked it up to it just being part of the deal when you’re married to a Senator. He’s used to Roy being gone for so long, but what he’s not used to is the uncanny  _ silence _ from Roy’s end. Since he’d left, he hadn’t heard a peep from his husband. 

Roy said before he left that he wouldn’t be able to call or text until he was in Denver.  _ It’s nothing serious, dear heart,  _ he’d said.  _ Classified, of course, but no more dangerous than usual.  _

Oddly enough, that hadn’t eased Ed’s worry in the slightest. 

“No,” Ed says slowly. “Are you okay? Is something wrong? Did something happen to Al?” 

She takes a deep breath before responding. “No, no. Your brother is fine. Have you seen the news yet?”

“Why…? Of course not, you know I don’t watch the news. Not since that asshole from Fox–”

There’s a moment of shuffling and then a different voice replaces Winry’s. “Ed, it’s Al. I need you to tell me if you know anything about where Roy has been.” 

Ed places his plate on the counter. “Al, what the fuck happened?”

“Just tell me where he was supposed to be, brother.”

“Virginia yesterday, a flight to Denver today. He gave me his itinerary before he left. Would you just tell me what the hell is going on?” Ed asks, his voice rising as he grows increasingly panicked. Al hasn’t sounded this somber since he had to tell Ed  _ it was too late the infection spread in your leg, I’m so sorry, brother  _ and that had ended in him missing a fucking limb. 

This might be the same thing, just a different kind of limb. 

“Okay,” Al says calmly, “there was a flight from Richmond to Denver that crashed on take-off a few hours ago.”

Everything stops. 

It’s like the world is in limbo, like he’s stuck in one of those shitty Jello puddings Roy makes, like he forgot how to fucking  _ breathe.  _

Ed can’t hear Al, can’t hear Winry, can’t hear them telling him  _ We don’t even know if he was on the plane, they haven’t released the passenger list yet.  _ All he can hear is the fucking void of sound. He can’t hear his own breath, can’t hear Roy’s breath,  _ can’t hear Roy’s heartbeat.  _

_ I need to know if he’s alive. He’s alive. He has to be.  _

Everything starts again. 

He can hear the blood rushing in his ears, can feel his heart racing, he even registers Winry’s panicked rambling on the other side of the phone. He realizes that at some point he had slid down to the floor, his knees tucked to his chest and his phone dropped to the ground. 

He picks it up. 

_ I have to know I have to know I have to know I have to know–  _

“Al,” he says weakly, the sound barely leaving his throat. “I’ll call right back.” 

He doesn’t waste his breath explaining why, doesn’t have to. “Okay, brother,” Al says, ever the understanding brother. “I’m driving to you, I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“Okay.” Ed hesitates. He’s always hated hanging up. It’s just so awkward– who does it first? He wants to tell his brother he loves him, wants to say  _ something,  _ but the words are stuck in his throat and– 

“I love you, too,” Al says, reading his mind like the fucking psychic he is. And then he hangs up, because he’s always been the smarter brother and Ed loves him so fucking much. 

Ed searches through his contacts for Roy’s assistant because he calls him regularly to rant about Roy’s shitty work ethic while simultaneously telling him what food works best when he’s about to be pull an all-nighter. He can barely see through the tears welling up in his eyes, but he wipes them away and eventually presses his tumb down on  _ Kain Fuery.  _

The phone dials and after the second ring, he picks up. “Ed,” the young man’s voice already broken on a panicked sob, “I booked him on that flight a week ago. Is he okay? Has he called you? I never– I don’t know if he ever got on it–” 

Ed takes a moment to breathe–  _ it’ll be okay, darling, you’re not on the battlefield anymore you’re not in that hospital anymore you’re here, you’re home now, you’re home and I’ve got you–  _ and he tells Kain, “It’ll be okay, we’ll find out soon enough, they’ll release the passenger lists. I’ll call you if– if–” 

“Okay, Ed,” Kain says, his voice watery. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” And then he hangs up, and Ed is left with that ringing silence.

It’s so weird– in the face of tragedy and whether or not you have to face the rest of your life alone, people say  _ okay  _ and  _ I’m sorry  _ over and over and over again until the panic has ceased and all that’s left is a giant fucking hole where his mother had once been– 

_ Mom? What’s going on? Mom? _

– and every time it’s like he’s finding her body all over again– 

_ They haven't released the passenger list yet _

_ –  _ and he’s in that purgatory of denial where it’s not the heaven he’s used to, but it’s not hell either because she’s not dead, he’s not dead, I have all my limbs and organs– 

_ Why can’t I feel my leg?  _

– and time is passing too slow, too fast, because he wants out of purgatory but he would rather not go to hell. He’s never been religious, but he will  _ pray  _ for the return of Roy if that’s what it fucking takes, he’ll renounce all of his fucking sins, he’ll join a goddamn nunnery if he has to because fuck fate and fuck God’s plan, he wants his fucking husband back,  _ now.  _

(Roy had threatened, once, to send Ed to a nunnery to make him stop cussing. It made no sense because Ed is a gay male atheist, but then again, nothing Roy said made sense. 

“They’re just words, bastard,” Ed had scowled, “And besides, you wouldn’t be able to have sex with me if I joined a nunnery.”

“Yes, but they’re  _ bad  _ words,” Roy teased. He turned onto his side to smile at Ed. “I could live without the sex if you would stop cussing.” 

“Oh, could you, now?” Ed asked, pushing him off the bed and taking all the blankets for himself. 

They had not had sex for two weeks. Roy had moped for the entire time until he finally got down on his knees and begged Ed. Ed had obliged, though Roy had to keep kneeling.)

_ I want him back,  _ Ed thinks, fierce and broken like the jagged edge of a knife. 

He hears a key fit into the lock, hears it turning, and he stands, hope ringing throughout his entire body. 

_ Roy?  _

Al steps into the apartment and closes the door behind him. He takes one look at Ed and runs forward to pull him into a hug. “Sorry,” he says, “you didn’t answer when I knocked and your neighbor was looking at me weird so I used the key that you buried in that poor plant. When was the last time you watered it?” 

Ed lets out a strangled laugh and hugs his brother back. “Fuck, I love you,” he says. 

Al doesn’t say anything else, just squeezes him once more before pulling away. “What did Kain say?”

“He booked the flight but doesn’t know if Roy got on it,” Ed says, watching as his brother moves to the kitchen counter to put the cooked chicken into a Tupperware container. He places it in the fridge while Ed distantly thinks,  _ I forgot I was making lunch.  _ Even the thought of eating makes him sick.

“That’s okay,” Al says, pulling Ed to the couch and sitting him down. “We can wait. We’re going to wait.”

“We’re going to wait,” Ed repeats, his words feeling hollow. 

“I’m going to make you tea,” Al says.

Ed doesn’t like tea, but at this point, he doesn’t really care either. 

. . .

He falls asleep. 

He doesn’t know how, doesn’t want to know how because he suspects that gross tea Al gave him wasn’t really gross tea, but when he wakes up, the sun is setting and he has a headache. Ed looks around for Al but doesn’t see him. 

The key turns in the lock and Ed stops himself from hoping too soon.  _ Al probably just went out for food,  _ he thinks. He pulls out his phone and checks for any calls from Kain. 

There are two missed calls. 

One is from Kain, the other is from Roy.

There’s a text. Ed barely has time to skim it as the lock turns and the person on the other side of the door fiddles with it. 

(Roy always did have trouble with the lock. One time he’d picked it, just because he was tired of fiddling with the key and wanted to practice his skills. Naturally, that just made the lock  _ worse _ .) 

_ Sorry, love,  _ the text reads,  _ I didn’t text you this morning because I wanted it to be a surprise. They ended my Virginia trip a day early and canceled the Denver trip– I booked myself a flight home yesterday. I had a layover in Texas and my phone died, so by the time I found out–  _

The door opens and Ed wants to scream and yell or maybe throw something, but that doesn’t really seem appropriate, does it? 

_ By the time I found out about the crash, there were no chargers in the airport and there was no chargers in the back of the plane (it was the only seat I could get on short notice, the sacrifices I make for you are endless, dear heart). I just landed and found myself a charger, I’ll be home in an hour. I love you.  _

Ed is torn between looking at his screen and looking at his husband. 

Roy, from the door, says, “Judging by the look on your face, I either did something very wrong or very right.” 

Ed looks at him, with his five o’clock shadow and messy plane hair and his suitcase and– 

Ed is  _ pissed.  _ He also wants to cry. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you have Kain book your flight?” Ed growls, reaching for the nearest object to throw at Roy’s face. 

Roy ducks as a pillow is hurtled at him. “His anniversary with Sheska was yesterday, I gave him the day off!” 

“You scared the shit out of me!” Ed grabs another pillow and stalks toward Roy, getting ready to hit him with it. Roy takes his wrist gently and Ed drops the pillow in favor of reaching for Roy and pulling him in for a hug. “You fucking idiot,” he says, burying his face in Roy’s neck where he can hear that vital organ he thought he’d lost, where he can hear Roy’s shuddering breath that he thought he would never hear again. 

“I’m sorry,” Roy says into Ed’s hair. “I love you so much Ed, I’m sorry.” 

“No more surprises.”

“No promises. I need to keep you on your toes.” Ed snorts dryly and stomps on  _ his _ toes. Roy squeaks. Ed wishes he had a recording of it. “Okay, okay, no more surprises, promise. My feet are fragile and pretty, please stop hurting me.” 

“Fuck you and your stupid fucking feet,” Ed grumbles, reluctantly taking his foot off Roy’s. He looks up at him, at his soft smile and sad eyes and worried expression, and says, “I love you, you dumb bastard.” 

“I love you, too,” Roy says. He caresses Ed’s jaw using a calloused but gentle hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. If I knew–” 

“I know, Roy.” 

Ed hears something drop from the doorway and leans over to see Al standing in the entrance to the apartment with takeout food and a huge grin on his face. 

“I missed something,” he says. 

“Yes,” Roy responds. “Would you like to stay in our guest room tonight? It’s a bit late to be driving that far–”

“Nope,” Al chirps, picking up the food from where it had dropped and placing it on the table. “I’m getting McDonald’s on the way home. Have good reunion sex and whatnot. Love you, brother!”

Ed grins at Al as he runs out the door. “Love you too, Al. Text me when you get home.” 

When Al is gone, Roy closes and locks the door behind him with a bemused look, saying, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him.”

“Seven years wasn’t enough?” Ed asks sarcastically. He moves toward Roy to put a hand on his chest while he tangles the fingers of his other hand with Roy’s.

“It’s the Elric curse. I’m still not used to you, either.”

Ed leans upward to gently brush his lips against Roy’s. The older man presses his free hand on the small of Ed’s back, pushing them together and deepening the kiss. 

Ed feels like he got his heart back. 

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: panic attack! sorta. implied ptsd, loss of limb, temporary character death 
> 
> headcanon here is basically just that ed joined the army for al, who was in the hospital with something. bullet wound from the battlefield festered too long, got infected, lost his leg, went home. Meets Roy at the VA, immediately thinks he's a pompous ass. Falls in love with said ass.


End file.
